If you don’t want to “sweat the small stuff,” it’s critical that you choose
your battles wisely. If you do, there will come a day when you’ll rarely feel
the need to do battle at all.
~Richard Carlson~
When you are chronically ill, stress is the enemy. The less stress in your life the less pain, flareups, and emotional challenges that you will have to deal with. Everyday we face choices about how we handle situations and people in our lives. How we handle our dilemmas can make a huge difference in our quality of life.
There will always be that one family member, friend, or coworker that will bring conflict in your life. This is just a normal part of life that every soul on this planet comes across on a day to day basis. Being chronically ill and not dealing with the conflict appropriately can cause turmoil and weeks of pain in your life. It is very important to learn how to deal with these types of people/stresses so they do not effect your life negatively.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
~Mark Twain~
If at all posible it is best to just not be around people that don’t believe you are ill, treat you with no respect, belittle you, or just seem to be negative all the time. These type of people are emotionally draining and it is not worth it to engage with them if you can avoid it. People that act like this are toxic to your soul and that toxicity can lead to physical symptoms that are unpleasant and unnecessary. Sometimes there is no way to avoid people that behave that way because of our circumstance. That is when we need to learn to cope with the situation in order to keep healthy and to keep our sanity!
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”
~Wayne W. Dyer~
Think about a time someone said something or did something that really upset you. In that moment you were very emotional, hurt, disappointed, or maybe even angry. You might have yelled, cried, or done things you regretted later on because at that time you where so emotional. What about now? How do you feel about that situation you were thinking about right in this moment? It might still make you upset but the intensity of your emotions are not as strong as they were when it first happened. Sometimes it is best to walk away or hang up the phone and have a cooling off period. Remind your self that you can not control other peoples actions or words. All you can do is control how your react or deal with the situation.
“What other people think about you is none of your business.”
-unknown~
Is it really worth it to let others make you feel inadequate? Is it worth you feeling more sick or down? It really is not. There are 6.4 billion people out there in the world and conflict is a fact of life. This fact isn’t the cause of conflict but it is the trigger to our emotions and our emotions are what drive us back to our most basic survival instinct; react and attack back to defend ourselves. I’ve learned that when people initiate arguements or are negative towards us, it is a reflection of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to be in front of that expression. When people put others down it is a form of insecurity on their part and has nothing to do with you personally. so why do we take it personally? It has a lot to do with our need to be right. Being right is not important but staying as healthy as you can is very important so we have to choose out battles wisely!
Wow, I have a sister in law who was like that!! she was very hard to deal with whenever we would go there. But, I tried to take the abuse in stride, which everyone would join in including my husband. I was just at the beginning of my chronic illnesses. No matter how bad I felt, I was just a complainer or “your always sick” NO Dah!!!
People think they’re so funny making fun of the pain your enduring. Even when I was in my teens, my one brother would say ” you always have stomach aches”. My mom used to think it was due to drinking liquid too cold with ice always. Well, that wasn’t it!! lol!! I eventually after fighting with the medical society about my issues, finally in my 30′s had my gallbladder removed!! AAAAhhh!! Unfortunately, I still am having residual issues with my stomach. I now am high risk for cancer of the stomach and/or the colon.
Anyway, I can say people are hurtful, I being included in that. Since, finding out that fact, have truly tried to be sensitive to others feelings. Even in the heat of arguing. Which is where I fell short of being what I should have been. Understanding!!!
I was fortunately diagnosed quite while undergoing therapy for my lower back in the early 80′s by a knowledgeable osteopath. After 20 years of working as an admin college secy, I was forced to take an early retirement. Since then, I’ve tried to help as much as possible with grandchildren. I think we are sensitive in every area of our lives which sets us up for disappointment and discouragement. I’m learning to not expect even family to fully understand my limitations because no one can possibly understand unless they have experienced fibro themselves. My advice is to monitor your activity, try to get some gentle exercise, beware of sugar, and eat extremely healthy on a regular basis. My relationship with Jesus Christ and those in His family is essential to my well being and survival. Hugs
There is a certain person in my life, whom I do not care to name, who has never been supportive. I should mention that she was not supportive prior to me becoming sick, so it’s not really a surprise that she has berated me for being a weak person, for “dwelling” on my illness by offering support to others, for getting sick at a “suspiciously convenient” time. She even once said that no one gave a sh*t about me. I have not chosen to completely cut off contact due to a family tie, but I do keep my interaction with her to a minimum.
For all i can say is Stress can be a motivator or a Killer, When the the very first symptom of Stress hits you, that is the time you need to choose how you are going to handle the true reason for getting stress. As for me I have been out of work for the last 2 months, So that is two months of taking the Time to find a Job+try not to worry about how am I going to pay my bills+ gas 4 my Jeep+Food+ paying off my mear 2,800.00 debt so i can save $ to go to the CONGO,AFRICA with Overland missions Next year.. This Stress can now be a + to Motivate Me to use My hope/faith in The ALMIGHTY LORD, to help provide for me a JOB. Now the negative side to Stress is. If i keep doing nothing and just sit around and chat on the computer all day to escape for stress then I will become a Slugged and the stress will turn in to Anger the become Bittiness then Hate turns in to kayos then it turn to Madness. the then turns to Death………so you see stress can be a blessing or a cursing…………….More to come from the StairWells of a SpaRRoWs Life…..end of Line
I am soooooo thankful that someone wrote this for me to read at this moment in my life!!!!! With out going into a lot of mucky, ugly details, it’s like this article was written specifically for me, at this point in time of my life. Now, if I can just remember these words of wisdom!! lol THANK YOU!!!