Welcome to the Second installment of healing is a process not an event here at FibroTV.com. I hope you find this non~mainstream information beneficial during your journey to health and wellness. Please be advised I am not a doctor or medical professional and these posts are for educational purposes only. I am not here to replace any medical treatment or medical advise.
Welcome to part two of the series “Healing is a process not an event” If this is your first read in this series I highly recommend reading the Introduction and Part One before reading this installment as it will make more sense what direction I am going with these blog posts. All I ask is that everyone keeps an open mind while reading these posts as they are not mainstream medicine type posts. Mainstream medicine has failed most of us as chronic illness patients. Because of this it is wise to look for alternatives and other options besides just masking symptoms with drugs that tend to break down the body more and cause more issues and disease. Some of what I will say about my journey may resonate with you while other aspects may not and that is perfectly fine. I just hope that what I am typing might inspire people to take the action they need to start their own healing journey whatever path they decide.
Self Love And Self Care
Self love and self care actually go hand in hand because once you love yourself you want to care for yourself it comes naturally. You start saying “NO” when you don’t want to do something (you become less of a people pleaser), you stop negative self talk that is very toxic to the body, you stop working a job you hate, you stop eating things that are poison to the body, you start putting your needs first so that you are healthier, happier, and at peace for yourself and others (it has a trickle down effect to those all around you). Putting your needs first is NOT selfish like we have been lead to believe! It is a form of self love! Self love is not just a gift to yourself but a gift to everyone around you!
I have come to the realization in the past 10 years or so that I have always been a people pleaser and always put others needs before my own. You see this trait a lot in chronic pain and chronic illness patients. They tend to everyone else’s needs and feelings before their own. You may think this a a noble act of kindness and compassion but without giving yourself kindness and compassion first you end up building anger and resentment for those you are giving it to with a empty vessel that has not been filled up by yourself first. You can not give what you are not giving yourself without depleting yourself. During my early teens through the age of 35 I would put a big smile on my face and do whatever it was that anyone wanted me to do. I still get trapped in this at times but I realize it now and I stop it. Awareness is key to stopping any self destructive behavior. I used to suppress my feelings and would not speak up when I did not agree with something or someone so I did not “Rock the boat.” This actually can cause an energetic block in the energy body (We will be talking about the energy body in the next segment) and cause chronic illness, increased pain, and increased symptoms.
The people that I have come to know in the chronic illness community are some of the most kind, helpful, compassionate people I have ever met. They are always in helping fields before they get really sick and can no longer work. Service workers, volunteers, teachers, military, nurses, care givers, and the list goes on and on the type of work these amazing people do. I truly believe part of the puzzle to the mystery of chronic illness is repressed emotions and putting other peoples needs before your own. Now this does not mean you do not get upset or happy or have any emotions throughout the day, it means that a lot of us don’t deal with the big stuff that builds up over time and our bodies react with real physical pain. At times we tend to hide or deepest thoughts and feelings so we do not upset others. We put on a show because we don’t want to burden others with our “stuff”. This is one of the reasons many people (Not all but a lot) with chronic illness have had some kind of abuse or trauma in their past if it be mental, emotional, physical, or sexual. Many people have shame when they are abused or have a traumatic event in their life and are taught to not talk about these things or feel they can’t because it will bring up too much pain. Sometimes they are told by family or even doctors to “Get on with your life” so these traumas are buried and suppressed until they are dealt with. If they are not dealt with they turn into real physical pain. I highly recommend if you have had any type of abuse or trauma in your life you have not dealt with that you speak with a professional that will not suppress your emotions by coving them up with medications but help you work through them and heal old wounds that can cause a block in your energy body. These blocks cause real disEASE and pain in the physical body and not dealing with them will be a block in your healing process.
How To Love Yourself
So how do you start loving yourself and start putting your emotional needs first when you have spent a lifetime pleasing others? Here are a few tips!
1.) Start telling yourself what you love about yourself.
We sure are good about judging ourselves that seems to come natural! How about redirecting the self judgement energy? Everyone has special talents, traits, or abilities that make them special. These things are going to be unique to you and by focusing on these things and patting yourself on the back for the amazingness that you are you are encouraging yourself and loving yourself. Positive self talk is wonderful (As long as you are not faking it and coving up true emotions that need to be dealt with) So what do you like about yourself? Are you a kind and compassionate person? Do you do crafts or have a special talent? Recognize your talents/Gifts and what you love about yourself and encourage yourself even when others don’t see how amazing you are and don’t recognize you. Become your own cheerleader!
2.) Be okay with what is going on in the NOW. Be okay with what is.
Life is not perfect. There are ups and downs. We can not control what goes on around us just how we react to it. Letting go of the need to have a perfect life or look like you have a perfect life to the outside world and recognize where you HONESTLY are and being okay with it is a huge step to moving forward. When we can be honest with ourselves we can actually see what areas we personally need to work on in our life. Beating yourself up for where you are now does not help anything. So you have a crappy diet and you have gained 60 pounds? That is where you are! Accept it and if you want to change it be kind to yourself about making those changes and less hard on yourself for getting to that point. You can not change what has happened just your future so why be hard on yourself for things you can not change in the past? Look forward. That is where your real power and potential lies.
3.) Worry less about what people think or say about you.
What other people say or think about you is none of your business. The more you worry about what others think about you the more you are going to try and fit their mold and that is not being authentically you. Do not shrink yourself down to make others feel more comfortable. You being who you truly are, being able to express that, and not suppressing who you are is your birthright. Don’t let others opinions, judgements, or beliefs keep you from being authentically you. Stop trying to impress others and start impressing yourself and see how fast things change in your life for the better. If people don’t like who you are authentically that is their issue. BE YOU TIFUL!
4.) Take note of your company and who you surround yourself with.
Are the people around you going downhill and always miserable? It might be time to find people that inspire you and challenge you to become the best version of yourself! Whatever that may be. If you are constantly around naysayers and pessimistic people that only see the bad in life and never take personal responsibility for their life it is harder to make positive changes with that kind of energy around you. I do understand sometimes these challenging people are family members or work colleges that we have to be around at times but expanding your circle and introducing yourself to new people that are wanting to make positive changes or have made positive changes makes your path to success much easier.
5.) Start Making the changes you need to make today!
Why wait until tomorrow? Is there something you can do today to give yourself the gift of self love? Now is the time!
6.) Do something everyday that makes you happy.
Invest in activities you deeply care about. This will be unique just like you. A good life is about making good decisions everyday that move you. Care about and do things you truly care about. What moves you? What makes all the cells in your body come alive? This can also lead you to your true purpose in life. Invest in you everyday!
7.) Focus on writing your own story and not reading about everyone else’s.
I might be kicking myself in the leg here by saying this because you are reading my story lol but you do need to create your own story. You are the creator of your story (life) and at any moment you can say “this is not the way the story is going to end”. When I am upset or frustrated I like to scream out. “PLOT TWIST” It kind of makes light of a sometimes heavy situation and helps me refocus on my goals and not the drama in the moment. When you start to comparing your story with someone else’s you are not being authentically you. Remember most people only show their highlight reel and not their struggles so it is an unrealistic expectation to have a “perfect life” like someone else. Their life is not perfect! Everyone struggles!
8.) Be loving to your negatives
Acknowledge that you created the negatives in your life to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new and positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release old negative patterns.
9.) Stand or sit in front of a mirror everyday and tell yourself “I Love you”
This is something I believe everyone should do every morning. It is very uncomfortable at first and not easy. How sad is it that we live in a society that makes us so uncomfortable to look deep into our own eyes and say “I Love you?” Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself and to all those around you. When you love yourself you do not come from a place of “lack” when you are engaging with the ones you love and giving them the job to fill up the lack of love you are not giving to yourself.
10.) Keep a journal of your progress
Journals are a great tool to keep track of your progress. A lot of my changes I did slowly and it was an accumulation of things that improved my health. Day to day it was really hard to see the changes as sometimes this process is slow. Writing down where you are everyday and your emotions surrounding where you are is not only good for keeping track of your progress but it is good self therapy. You can start to see patterns in your behaviors when you are not having good days and make the appropriate changes as necessary. I add to this by writing down my food choices that day. When I would reread some of my bad nutritional habits I would see which foods were causing pain, depression, and fatigue buy keeping track.
To be continued……..
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope that my journey can help you on your journey to health and wellness. There is much more to come. As time allows I will be posting new segments in the series “Healing is a process not an event.” Caring for myself and my needs come first that way I can be at my best and give out the best information for you all.